August 20, 2014

The Video

For the record, I am posting this with much hesitation.

Mostly because I am a complete idiot and the video is terrible.

I have no idea how many takes it took to get even this hot mess - which was the least hottest mess of the hot messes - but it's kind of really embarrassing.

Good news is that I will have one hell of a blooper reel if I ever get to creating one! It would contain much frustrated swearing, some cat fighting and people laughing, and a sassy director (Derek). Hopefully I can make that video happen sometime, because I know it will make me laugh my butt off at least ;)

Anyways - judge away. Would you hire me after seeing this? I think not. Not that I ever really felt like I had a chance. But I of course have let myself get really excited about it, and hopeful, even though we all know it ain't happenin'.

Here ya go - Hot Mess Express, Party of Me. (and yes, that was the best thumbnail photo I could find...yikes.)

See what I mean? Woof.

Also, for the record, the video was 60 seconds before I uploaded it to Vimeo. Thanks, Vimeo. Hope I don't get disqualified for the 61 seconds on here. HAHA.

Anyways, today is the craziest, busiest, most time-sensitive, stressful day of the year for me at work. So of course I woke up at 4am and haven't been able to go back to sleep. So wish me luck on making it through this work day that will probably be from 8am to 8pm if I'm lucky.

On that note, away I go.


Oh - also - I think my crazy ass is going to do the 31 Day Nail Art Challenge again this year. Because I'm a super smart person who makes good decisions. And also, I have made it my personal goal to get my level one Cicerone done by the end of Labor Day weekend. I'll officially get paid double at Longwell's once I pass, so now I have extra motivation!

And now I'm really done. BYE!


August 14, 2014

Job Number Three + A Holy S**t Moment

First, please excuse this post in advance. I decided to eat my Smart Ones in my closed office at lunch today while reading about Ferguson (seriously, I can't stop reading) and painting my naked nails (because I was too busy accidentally napping & reading Ferguson stuff to paint them last night). Wrong decision, Sara. You know me - I paint my nails all the time. Normally, I can't even smell the crazy smells of nail polish. But apparently in a shut up office with little ventilation, the fumes can get to me. Because wow. I'm actually a little woozy.

That's why I'm finally posting - even though I have a metric fuckton of stuff to do at work, I have no focus and I messed stuff up a bunch in my woozy state, so I'm giving myself a quick break. So, cheers to that, or something.

In the last couple of posts, I have alluded to a potential new job that I was pretty stoked about. Well, I'm here to tell you about that, and a "holy shit" moment I had yesterday, and then to beg for your help. So stay tuned! 

So I'm obviously the most ridiculous person. Because, yes, a couple of weeks ago I finalized the paperwork for my third job. As in, I am currently employed by three different places. Yeah, because that seems like a good idea, Tired Sara.

Remember back when I had my epiphanies about continuing my MBA and work? (PS - still so in love with my decision to quit my MBA - I know this was the right choice for me!) In that post, I said that an opportunity knocked an hour after telling Derek about my decision. Well, I got the job, but it isn't quite as exciting as I had hoped - hence why I have three jobs instead of just one or two. So let me explain...

That night, I was sitting with Marcus and Craig from Zipline Brewing, and a guy I have met at multiple craft beer events. His name is Mark, and he manages the craft beer portfolio for a local distributor (he's THE only person working with craft beer for this distributor, and is responsible for bringing Founders to Nebraska). In the middle of our conversation, Marcus and Craig shared a knowing look, then both looked at Mark and said, "Mark, you should hire Sara!" To which Mark seemed shocked he had never thought of the idea himself. He started talking to me about it like it was already my job. I was pretty enthused!

Fast forward through some obnoxious communication issues, and we land at the conversation where Mark tells me he can't guarantee me any certain amount of hours per week. Cue devastation. See, I had finally worked out that if I worked at least 20 hours per week with Mark and kept my Longwell's job (but added more shifts), then I could quit my job at UNL. I thought that surely there was a way for me to work 20 hours a week - if not at events, then helping Mark out with other things. Alas, no.

So I was incredibly sad. I won't lie - I cried. More than once.

In this conversation, though, Mark continued to boost me up. I'd be working the "elite" craft beer brands with him, doing samplings, and he had 100% confidence in me. He said that he needs me. And if he can't have me, then he needs someone who is me. He continued to discuss how impressive my passion and knowledge are about craft beer, and how he has full trust in me. How do you say no to that?!

In the end and after much discussion with Derek, it was decided that I needed to still take the job, but that I would have to work around my other jobs. I couldn't just say no to a perfect foray into the craft beer world I so desperately wish to join.

So, here I am: Sara the Promotions Specialist. I'm so excited to get started! Though right now is the worst time for me to be starting another job. I'm so thankful that Mark is understanding, though! I told him I couldn't actually start the samplings until after school begins, because this is my crazy busy time for my UNL job. I think I have an event for Empyrean Brewing on August 29, though - which will be my first!

Now to my Holy Shit! moment yesterday.

On August 1 - the day I finalized my paperwork for Promotion Specialist, and a rough day at UNL for me - New Holland Brewing (Holland, Michigan) tweeted this:

...and I decided to click on the link on a whim. There, I found a job called "Great Plains Beer Ambassador," and curiosity got the best of me.

See - this girl right here loves New Holland Brewing. Their beer is fantastic and I just adore the food I've had there every time I've been (okay, so that's only been four times, but that's not bad considering I live 12 hours away from there). I always recommend a trip there to anyone visiting Michigan. Derek and I wow craft beer nerds with our stash of our favorite beer from there, Dragon's Milk. I seriously love this place.

So when they have a job opening called "Great Plains Beer Ambassador" and one of the states within that region is Nebraska, where they currently do not distribute, I had to apply.

It was a complete whim, and it took me like 15 minutes to fill out their website application and spruce up my resume a bit. If you know me, you know how much anxiety applications give me - so this was nothing short of a minor miracle for me.

As soon as I hit "submit," I couldn't stop laughing at myself. Yes, actual laughing. See?

So, my Holy Shit! moment came yesterday. After kind of forgetting that I even applied for this job, because really, I honestly thought (think) I had about the equivalent of a snowball's chance in hell to even get contacted back, unless it was someone laughing in my face that I thought to apply. I have no sales experience - not directly, anyway. Sure I sell stuff as a server and bartender, but that's it, really. I'm good at talking about beer, though, and have talked many a person into trying a certain beer, whether it is for work or just while sitting in a bar myself.

Imagine my surprise (almost fell out of my desk chair from laughter, actually) when I got an email with the subject, "New Holland Brewing Company - Video Request," in my inbox. I thought it was spam at first! Then I remembered that I applied for a job with New Holland, and about died. Died from a fit of "are you fucking kidding me" giggles. Seriously - I was a hot mess when I read the email yesterday! Here's what it said:

Good afternoon Sara- 

Thank you for your interest in our Great Plains Beer Ambassador position. As the next step in our process, we are requesting from you a 60-second video in which you tell us why we should hire you and/or why you would like to work for New Holland. We are not judging the quality of the video (we aren't expecting a Hollywood production!), we are just trying to get a better sense of who you are. You may send me a file or a link to a video application (YouTube, Facebook video, etc.). Submit this video no later than 12pm (noon) Monday, August 18th.

So. Yeah. Holy shit.

I suppose they could have sent that email to all applicants and will weed out from there. But to me, if I were a hiring manager, I would want to narrow a bit before sending out video requests, because who wants to watch any video of someone they know has no chance? I wouldn't. But oh well - I'm still in complete laugh out loud shock that I heard back from them, and mostly that I have to make a video of myself.

Of course, I'm freaking out a bit. I think that my voice sounds like it belongs to a 5 year old when it is recorded. I'm not at a good place with my weight (or even how chubby my face is right now). I am struggling hard with sleep, so the bags under my eyes are insane. But mostly... what do I even say?

Seriously. I need any assistance! Should I be funny? Serious? Should I wear one of my two New Holland Brewing Company shirts? Or a "nice" shirt? Do I drink a beer (Dragon's Milk by New Holland, duh!)? Do I stand up? Sit down? Walk around? Show our massive Dragon's Milk collection? Be formal? Informal? What do I say? What do I do? Ahh! So many questions!

Anyways - any advice or suggestions, based on opinion or personal experience (seriously - have you had to do this before for a job?!), would be so, so welcome!

Thanks for reading! And thanks for your patience with me as readers, if you're reading! :)


Also, I will probably post the video here once everything is all said and done. Plus potentially bloopers, because I'm sure there will be a bajillion of them! So - wish me luck! And send help! :D


August 9, 2014


It's 4:00am. It's raining. And I'm not sleeping.

Sleep hasn't been my friend lately. I'm having a lot of sleeping issues. And of course it's damn August - my busiest month of the year for work - so the timing couldn't be worse. Then again, is the timing ever really good when a person is having sleep issues?

I haven't been blogging lately. I honestly kinda thought that since I am so busy right now that my stupid brain would panic and just blog a ton because it was easier to focus on blogging than life. So color me surprised that I didn't even open blogger this week. I was thisclose to opening up my laptop last night when I couldn't sleep, but then I just ended up not sleeping.

I'm finally watching the end of last season's Grey's Anatomy. I am missing an episode, though, because my stupid DVR deleted all of my hoarded episodes, and there were six unwatched episodes, and there are only five available on OnDemand. Boo.

So anyways, sleep.

I know that I've lately (past few years) been surviving on approximately an average of 4-5 hours a night. I know that isn't good. I know it has impacted my health and happiness, and probably a plethora of other things. But whatever is happening lately, where my brain has a harder time turning off, where my sleep is almost never sound, where my anxiety is even higher than normal surrounding everything including sleeping - this is not okay.

But I don't want to go to a doctor. I don't want to go on a sleeping pill. I am not against taking pills or medications. But I already take four medications a day. I wish I could lower that number, not raise it.

Now it is 4:41am, and I just watched the second to last episode of the season (Grey's Anatomy still). Do I watch the next (last) episode? I don't feel sleep coming any time soon. I may as well. But then again, am I only encouraging the non-sleep if I watch the last episode? Who knows. I really do not feel tired. Exhausted, sure, but not like I can sleep.

I miss the old Grey's Anatomy. With George, Izzie, Burke, Denny, Addison, McSteamy.

Anyways - I digress.

Which is part of the problem - my damn brain is all over the place and nowhere at all. I forget words, I forget where my stories are going, I ramble (even more than normal), I forget what someone just told me, I lose focus incredibly easily. This is not good. Not good during my busiest time of the year at work. Not good for a bartender who is trying to learn the best methods for tending to as many customers as possible at one time. Not good for someone who desperately needs to study for a test that means a great deal. Not good for someone who just got a third job and will probably need to learn how to do that job sometime.

I think this blabbering blog post is done. I'm hungry again. And I decided to watch the season finale of Grey's, and since it is Cristina's last, I should pay attention. And this post is a load of shit and just a bunch of crap on a page.

I'll try to get my shit together once I can get some sleep. I want to tell you about my third (dammit Sara) job.

Now I'm gunna go get another damn snack and pretend I remember how to sleep a full night.

Oh, and because blog posts are supposed to have pictures, here is a picture of me that I took a couple hours ago. I found a new lipstick and was trying to see what it looked like. And yes, I was puffing my lips out to see the color better - so no, that's not how my lips normally look, nor how I normally take photos. I look a little dazed and exhausted. So it goes.

Gorgeous, I know. You're welcome.

Snack time.


July 29, 2014

This and That

Have I already used that blog post title? Probably... oh well..

And that's kind of where my mind is at right now. All over the place while being nowhere at all.

I also just really felt like blogging, but had no real direction, so be prepared..

I didn't do a big haircut reveal post because, frankly, my hair isn't much different. My appointment was crazy long, I saw a lot of hair fall to the floor, and it was probably my best haircut experience of my life (maybe one exception). But it basically looks the same. But better. It's like the healthier, better looking version of my hair before. Plus some major fixing of my bangs, and this oddly heavy part of my hair on the left side of my head.

[forgive these pictures...they are hastily taken and with an iPhone (duh) - but also with day 2 hair that was beachy wavy yesterday and straightened today..]

 (Yes, I really do wear my Zipline Brewing Company zip up hoodie at work when I'm cold... #hatersgunnahate)

I am currently in the midst of an attack of allergy eyes. And I hate it. Please see pictures above for proof. This past weekend, my eyes started itching. Then by Monday, my eyes itched so badly that it was all I could do to not scratch my eyeballs out. They are a little better today, but my eyes look just awful. I look kind of like an addict who doesn't ever sleep because they are always looking for the next fix. I mean - I don't sleep much, and I usually do have some bags under my eyes, but nothing like this on a normal basis. BOO.

Today is apparently national lipstick day. I wish I had the cajones to wear lipstick. But I can never find the right shade, then I end up feeling ridiculous. I also have kind of thin lips, so bolder colors don't look the best on me. And I don't smile too often (#grump), so I end up having frowny resting bitch face most of the time - and lipstick doesn't usually look all that good on that kind of face. When I bartend, I am trying to wear lipgloss, but a) that doesn't last too long, and b) it is sticky. I wish I could find a pretty color of lipstick that is long-wear and not a bajillion dollars.

the only lip stuff I have in my purse - probably will wear the one under the red

Speaking of bartending - it is going pretty well. I wish I knew more about cocktails still, but for some annoying reason, I have a real hard time remembering how much of what goes into each drink. I can read, research, and even write down ingredients and measurements, but my addled and tired brain just cannot remember. So I'm trying to sleep more...and failing, of course. Thankfully, we don't often have too crazy of drink orders, so I have been okay so far. KNOCK ON WOOD!!!

Also, it seems that I'm being scheduled every Tuesday to close. Good thing is that we don't stay open too late on Tuesdays. Bad thing is I still get home late and am wired, so I struggle to go to sleep at a reasonable time, and I am therefore a complete shitshow at my day job on Wednesdays. I don't mind working on Tuesdays, but I don't know how long I can continue to close the bar on the weekdays.

Hopefully that won't matter for too much longer because I will have a new job that I love and I won't have to come in to work at UNL crazy early on Wednesdays (okay - I come in at 8am, but I wake up at exactly 6:13am on Wednesdays so those are early days for me...).

Then again - I am having a hard time communicating with my potential job person. I know he's busy, and I am trying to be understanding, but I am also getting antsy. Mostly because I would love to work with him and at this particular job, but also because I want so badly to be done with my day job that I currently have. And the clock is ticking - once August strikes, I will be so busy that I won't hardly be able to see straight. Which means it is not exactly the ideal time for me to leave my current job. And while I may not care about the precarious position I put my current employers in, I do know that it could impact the students here, and that is something I do care about.

Anyways - I am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch. Who knows if the other job will even work out. I hope, hope, hope it does. But soon enough, it will be out of my hands.

Something else on my mind: beer. I know - you're all so surprised, right? I am so excited and have so many beer-related goals, and I can't wait to get started! But then I am slowly getting stuck back into my panicky rut where there is too much that I want to do, so I don't do anything because I have no idea where to start. I did order myself some fun beer things, so hopefully they will inspire me when they arrive!

I also need to write. Oh, do I so badly need to write. ACB has contacted me and wondered where I'm at in life and writing. This is where I detest my anxiety so much - I have so many ideas that I could write about, and I tell myself to just pretend I'm writing for my blog so it won't be that difficult. But then panic sets in and I get nervous about who will read it, what if I make a huge grammar or factual error, what if no one cares about my subject, what if ACB rejects an article after I've written it again, and the questions just go on and on. And then I don't write. And then I get angry with myself for being so fucking ridiculous.

Anyways, I'm about out of things to say that I don't need to elaborate upon for multiple paragraphs, and also I'm out of relateable pictures, and we all know blog posts need pictures (or something like that). So I shall close this post now. Thanks for reading!


July 24, 2014

Haircut Day

Today is Haircut Day.

Not a big deal, right? Wrong.

First of all - I have not gotten my poor hair trimmed or cut since December. My split ends have split ends that have split ends. It's a hot damn mess. My bangs are out of control. My hair doesn't even have a style. It's pretty awful.

Second of all, and honestly probably most important - I'm going to a new stylist. This is huge for me. Huge because pretty much since I have had hair, I've gone to the same place to cut my hair. Since probably eight or so, the same woman has cut my hair. She was great - a good human and a friend. Didn't always love my hair, but I'm a loyal person, so I kept going back. Then, at the end of December, she had rotator cuff surgery and was not cutting hair for a long time. When she finally came back, she was just doing hair coloring. Then I discovered that she would no longer be cutting hair at all - just coloring and styling. I was pretty devastated. (I'm not a fan of what I deem to be unnecessary change, remember?)

I've been putting off getting my hair cut, but it has been bothering me for a while.

But enough is enough! It needs to be trimmed, at the very least. Of course, since my hair is so gross at the ends, it needs probably a 2 inch trim, which is scary. Because when I look at my hair, it doesn't seem that long to me. I mean, I know that it is long, but it doesn't feel that way.

I mostly just want to chippity chop my hair off. But I cannot do that when I'm visiting a hair stylist for the first time! The last time I had someone else even trim my hair - and it was just my bangs - she cut them into a V shape... as in, my bangs were angled off to the side, but they were longer in the middle of my forehead. WRONG. It was awful! And it was on the day of my best friend's wedding and I was the maid of honor. *shudder*

I also have this strange complex (I know I'm irrational - no need to tell me!) about having short hair on me: I think my boobs are too big to have short hair. Yeah, that's real talk, people. I think that if I cut my hair too short, that all people will see are my big ol' boobs and a teeny tiny head. Irrational? Probably. But that's how I feel, and I've always felt that way, so good luck changing me!

So, all of that to say, I think I'm just getting a much-needed trim today. And maybe have her re-style my terrible bangs.


Ugh. But I'm bad at decisions. So I have no clue what to do. And I'm scared, because what if she screws up my hair?! I mean - she is the stylist for my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law, so she has a vested interest in making sure I'm happy with my cut. But still!

Anyways, this was a fluffy, meaningless post. But honestly, this is what's on my mind right now. This, and the job application that I finally have in my hot little hands to apply for a job that could be the beginning of a great thing for me. But the haircut was easier to write about :)

So that's all for now. I'll let you know how the haircut goes, because I'm sure you are all on tenterhooks about it. [are tenterhooks a thing? I feel like I read that in Harry Potter or something. Or I'm crazy. Or just sleep-deprived. Probably both. Ok - I'm done!]

crappy picture - but EXTRA YIKES.