|Empty office, photo from Elizabeth|
The past month was a crazy one, and I am definitely still adjusting to this new life.
I knew after the end of June, that the end of my work at UNL was coming soon - I just didn't know how soon, or what exactly would replace it. With the beginning of the new school year in late August came a lot of changes at work, and none that were really communicated well to me. It was an utter shitshow, if I'm being honest. But I didn't care. That moment that I realized I no longer cared if I was 100% perfect or screwed everything up was the moment I knew I needed to leave the job, and fast. Out of everything I've gone through the past five years, the thing that kept me going was the students. And now? Didn't care. Sure, I wanted them to be able to eat, and not experience issues, but I didn't panic about the mistakes and rush to fix everyone's whim.
On Friday, August 29, I had had enough of the week's bullshit, and I took the day off. My boss initially told me no, because she had no idea how to cover for me in my absence. A great sign. I found someone to take over for my duties and was able to have the day off. I slept in, resting peacefully, had lunch with Derek (who took the day off, too), met Mark (K&Z supervisor), and did my first beer event - a tasting at Hy-Vee. Then we headed to Zipline after the tasting for their Nut Brown release party. It was an absolutely fantastic day!
That night, we went to Old Chicago. Derek and I talked about some things. And I think he finally realized just how unhappy I have been for about the past four years. He finally said, that night, in Old Chicago, that he trusted me and wanted the best for me - I could quit my job at UNL. We agreed that we would not panic until it had been a month without me having employment other than serving/bartending at Longwell's and the occasional K&Z event. I had a few jobs I was planning to apply for that I figured I'd have a decent chance of getting at least an interview. I was on cloud nine!
Earlier that day, we had gone to lunch at Longwell's. Kevin, my manager, was there, and he stopped me to say, "I've talked to Eric [the owner], and we have an answer for you - but we want to wait until after the first game weekend [Husker football] to talk to you about it." I honestly assumed this meant it was good news, but tried not to get my hopes up too high. I am also incredibly impatient, so this was a little flustering to me, but I waited.
That weekend ended up being one of my favorite weekends in a long time. After a great, happy, craft beer-filled Friday, the Huskers won on Saturday in delightful fashion, and then I had a great bartending shift on Sunday night. Plus Monday was a day off from the University for Labor Day, and who doesn't love a four day weekend, right? The only crappy thing was knowing I had to go back to work at UNL on Tuesday.
I decided that, even though I had Derek's "okay" to quit, that I wanted to at least hear what Kevin had to say about the Longwell's thing before actually quitting. Mostly because I knew I would get a million questions from my boss at UNL and I guess it sounds better to say "I quit because I have a new job" than "I quit because I cannot work with you any longer because it is making me a terrible person, and no I don't have anything lined up, but that's better than risking my health and well being any longer."
After some shitty events transpired that week, I made the decision that, no matter what Kevin said, I was going to put my two weeks' notice in on Friday, September 5. Derek was on board, too, which was incredibly helpful.
But then it was Thursday, September 4, and Kevin gave me the good news I was hoping for, and I told him I'd put my two weeks' notice in on Friday, making my official start date for full time at Longwell's Monday, September 22.
So I get back to work at UNL on Thursday, September 4, preparing myself for an eye-roll-worthy meeting at 2pm. That's when my boss tells me that she is going to be leaving the meeting early for a doctor appointment for her dad, and that she would not be there in the morning on Friday for a similar reason. I knew the director would be gone Friday afternoon, so I had planned to tell them in the morning on Friday that I was quitting. But now what? So around 1:45pm, I called Derek, panicking. He suggested that I just verbally tell Pam before the meeting on Thursday, and tell her that I would put my letter in on Friday morning.
I panicked and flailed around, then it settled it: I was really doing this. I was quitting my secure job.
When my boss was on her way out the door to the meeting, I stood up in my office and told her, face to face, that I was putting in my two weeks' notice. She was floored. She stared at me for a few beats, then finally said, "wow. Really?" It was one of the scarier, nerve-wracking things I've done, but the weight that lifted off my shoulders was incredible!
Now, four weeks after making one of the biggest decisions of my life, I'm just so happy! No, things are not perfect - but what job is? I'm definitely enjoying myself, and seeing some nice success in my new role. I actually decided to come to this little corner of the internet to tell you about my new job, but then when I started writing, the story of how I finally quit just came pouring out of my fingertips.
Anyways, I accidentally just stayed up too late watching Vine and not posting this, so I ought to go for now. I have a lot more to say, things I've realized, how the job is going, etc. But I'll wait and stop this post for now.
Check ya later!