And that's kind of where my mind is at right now. All over the place while being nowhere at all.
I also just really felt like blogging, but had no real direction, so be prepared..
I didn't do a big haircut reveal post because, frankly, my hair isn't much different. My appointment was crazy long, I saw a lot of hair fall to the floor, and it was probably my best haircut experience of my life (maybe one exception). But it basically looks the same. But better. It's like the healthier, better looking version of my hair before. Plus some major fixing of my bangs, and this oddly heavy part of my hair on the left side of my head.
[forgive these pictures...they are hastily taken and with an iPhone (duh) - but also with day 2 hair that was beachy wavy yesterday and straightened today..]
(Yes, I really do wear my Zipline Brewing Company zip up hoodie at work when I'm cold... #hatersgunnahate)
I am currently in the midst of an attack of allergy eyes. And I hate it. Please see pictures above for proof. This past weekend, my eyes started itching. Then by Monday, my eyes itched so badly that it was all I could do to not scratch my eyeballs out. They are a little better today, but my eyes look just awful. I look kind of like an addict who doesn't ever sleep because they are always looking for the next fix. I mean - I don't sleep much, and I usually do have some bags under my eyes, but nothing like this on a normal basis. BOO.
Today is apparently national lipstick day. I wish I had the cajones to wear lipstick. But I can never find the right shade, then I end up feeling ridiculous. I also have kind of thin lips, so bolder colors don't look the best on me. And I don't smile too often (#grump), so I end up having frowny resting bitch face most of the time - and lipstick doesn't usually look all that good on that kind of face. When I bartend, I am trying to wear lipgloss, but a) that doesn't last too long, and b) it is sticky. I wish I could find a pretty color of lipstick that is long-wear and not a bajillion dollars.
|the only lip stuff I have in my purse - probably will wear the one under the red|
Speaking of bartending - it is going pretty well. I wish I knew more about cocktails still, but for some annoying reason, I have a real hard time remembering how much of what goes into each drink. I can read, research, and even write down ingredients and measurements, but my addled and tired brain just cannot remember. So I'm trying to sleep more...and failing, of course. Thankfully, we don't often have too crazy of drink orders, so I have been okay so far. KNOCK ON WOOD!!!
Also, it seems that I'm being scheduled every Tuesday to close. Good thing is that we don't stay open too late on Tuesdays. Bad thing is I still get home late and am wired, so I struggle to go to sleep at a reasonable time, and I am therefore a complete shitshow at my day job on Wednesdays. I don't mind working on Tuesdays, but I don't know how long I can continue to close the bar on the weekdays.
Hopefully that won't matter for too much longer because I will have a new job that I love and I won't have to come in to work at UNL crazy early on Wednesdays (okay - I come in at 8am, but I wake up at exactly 6:13am on Wednesdays so those are early days for me...).
Then again - I am having a hard time communicating with my potential job person. I know he's busy, and I am trying to be understanding, but I am also getting antsy. Mostly because I would love to work with him and at this particular job, but also because I want so badly to be done with my day job that I currently have. And the clock is ticking - once August strikes, I will be so busy that I won't hardly be able to see straight. Which means it is not exactly the ideal time for me to leave my current job. And while I may not care about the precarious position I put my current employers in, I do know that it could impact the students here, and that is something I do care about.
Anyways - I am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch. Who knows if the other job will even work out. I hope, hope, hope it does. But soon enough, it will be out of my hands.
Something else on my mind: beer. I know - you're all so surprised, right? I am so excited and have so many beer-related goals, and I can't wait to get started! But then I am slowly getting stuck back into my panicky rut where there is too much that I want to do, so I don't do anything because I have no idea where to start. I did order myself some fun beer things, so hopefully they will inspire me when they arrive!
I also need to write. Oh, do I so badly need to write. ACB has contacted me and wondered where I'm at in life and writing. This is where I detest my anxiety so much - I have so many ideas that I could write about, and I tell myself to just pretend I'm writing for my blog so it won't be that difficult. But then panic sets in and I get nervous about who will read it, what if I make a huge grammar or factual error, what if no one cares about my subject, what if ACB rejects an article after I've written it again, and the questions just go on and on. And then I don't write. And then I get angry with myself for being so fucking ridiculous.
Anyways, I'm about out of things to say that I don't need to elaborate upon for multiple paragraphs, and also I'm out of relateable pictures, and we all know blog posts need pictures (or something like that). So I shall close this post now. Thanks for reading!